Wednesday, Feb 9, 2022 • 20min
How to Empower the People Around You
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You are a leader, whether you realize it or not. In today's episode, I am going to teach you how to empower those around you and step into your true leadership.
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Rob Dial
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Rob Dial
00:08
Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast, I'm your host, Rob Dial and if you have not yet done, so hit that subscribe button since you never miss another episode. And if you're out there, and you want to receive motivational text messages from me directly to your cell phone, text me right now, if you live in the
United States
or Canada
152 580 9305, once again, 512 580 9305.Share
00:31
Today we're gonna be talking about how to empower the people around you and I know that a lot of you out there are leaders in some sort of way and whether you don't see yourself as a leader or you do see yourself as a leader, you are leading people with every single thing that you do.
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00:47
Some of you might be leaders in your business, you might be an account manager and have some people that are under you, you might be a manager in some sort of way, you might be an executive, a director, you might be a college student, and you might have people who look up to you in some sort of way. You might have a family in a spouse that looks up to in some way, you might have children that look up to you in some way, you might have friends that look up to in some sort of way.
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01:10
One of the things I want to empower each of you to realize is that you are a leader in your life in some sort of way and there's people looking up to you in different ways of for guidance or sometimes looking at you to see what you're doing and getting inspiration based off of what you do and the sooner that you realize that you're a leader, the sooner that you'll be able to number one, step into that position to grow yourself, but also be able to grow the people around you as well.
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01:37
Today we're gonna be talking about how to empower the people that are around you, and you know, I teach a lot of people who are coaches, I teach them, and you know how to grow their coaching businesses and a lot of people in my, what's called my business breakthrough, which is my program, I actually teach leaders and coaches how to grow their coaching businesses and their businesses in general.
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01:57
One of the biggest things that holds people back is that they feel like they need to have all of the answers, they feel like before they grow a business, they need to have all of the answers and a lot of people before they step into their leadership position, also feel like they need to have all of the answers or like I can't be a leader yet, because like, think this, have you ever thought this thought in your head, "I can't be a leader yet, because I'm still trying to figure it out".
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02:19
Have you ever thought that before? I'm sure every person listening has thought that before themselves. "Oh, I can't, I can't be a leader yet, what if people are gonna realize, I don't have it all figured out, they're gonna think that I'm a fraud in some sort of way. What I don't want to be found out as someone who's a fraud, right? "
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02:34
And so what happens is we think that before we step into a leadership position, we need to have it all figured out, and we need to be perfect and same thing with the people who are coaching businesses, they don't start because they don't feel like they're ready, or they're worried about not having all of the answers for their clients.
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02:49
And it's just like anything else, the first thing you need to do is you need to actually identify yourself as a leader as somebody who is able to empower other people. You need to see yourself in that position and use that mindset to allow you to step into it and start to go out there and try to change people's lives.
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03:07
Because the thing that I always say is, you can't become a professional basketball player by just watching a whole bunch of videos of people playing basketball, you got to step on the court at some point in time. And so if you want to be a leader, or you see yourself as a leader or a possible leader at some point in time in the future. You've got to understand that you've got to step into that position now and start seeing how that fits you a little bit, seeing how you can, you know, improve and get better and everything that you do.
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03:31
And so leaders create leaders and that's what's important about it is the one thing that I see a lot in the world right now is that a lot of people are acting like their side is right and everybody else's side is wrong "and anybody who says that my side is wrong is completely false".
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03:45
But really what we should all be trying to do is every person that's around us is having them step into a position of leadership. The biggest thing that a leader can do is have somebody that they've empowered in some sort of way surpassed them in their leadership, surpass them in their sales, surpass them and whatever it is that they're doing.
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04:03
So how do you get someone to step into their own leadership? Is really the question, you don't give them the answers, you give them the questions.
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04:12
And so this is the thing that a lot of people understand, they think "oh my gosh, I'm gonna be a coach or if I'm gonna be a leader, I have to have all of the answers". No, no, no, you have to be able to allow somebody else to step into the leadership by asking them the right answers and having them find the right answers.
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04:27
So the way I always easy way to explain it is this, I like to explain that there's your conscious self which is yourself that's listening to me right now, and then there is your higher self, which is like the enlightened version of you that you know exists, It's kind of there, and it peeks through the curtains every once in a while and tells you something and says, "hey, maybe you should do this, maybe you should move this way, maybe you should, you know, feel this gut feeling that I'm sending through".
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04:47
So it's your conscious self which is the self that's listening to me and then your higher self, which is like the self that peeks through that knows all the answers. There's something inside of you that has all of the answers, and it's smarter than me, it's smarter than you and I like to call it your Higher Self.
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05:03
So the thing about it is, I don't think as a leader in myself that I need to tell anybody what to do, what I need to do is ask people and allow their higher self to come through so that they take the correct actions for themselves.
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05:16
This is what makes being a leader a lot easier than people realize is as a leader, you want to actually, instead of telling people what to do, you want to ask them questions so that their higher self, their intelligent self can break through, and they can start to trust that, you know, I don't I don't empower you and get you to bring that out by telling you what to do. I do it by asking questions, and then you start to trust your intuition, you start to trust your higher self, and I'm allowing you to find the answer.
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05:47
It's the exact same thing when you're trying to empower people around, you don't tell them what to do, don't give them the answers, ask them questions to then have their higher self come through for them to find the right answers for themselves.
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05:59
And this is what really makes you build self-confidence and self-awareness in yourself, but also helps you find self-confidence and self-awareness with the people that you're leading and for them to find it in themselves.
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06:10
Eventually what I want for you listening to this podcast is you to be able to be empowered to take action without me, I don't have to be there and as a leader, that's what you should want for the people that you are trying to lead is you want them to be able to not need you at some point in time to be able to trust their intuition to be able to trust their higher self and to be able to take action without hesitation towards whatever it is they're trying to create. Does it make sense?
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06:38
Another place that this pops up is with children, do you want, if you have children or if you're going to have children someday, do you want to empower your children to be badass amazing children? That grew up to be badass and amazing humans and adults?
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06:53
Well, let's let's roll with this for a second when they come up and ask you a question, try to ask them a question back and empower them to find the answer versus trying to tell them what to do. Why don't you ask them a question? See if they can come to the right answer.
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07:08
What's crazy about kids? I've done this many times. I have a huge family and one of the things that I've done with kids is I try not to give them any answers, I try to ask them questions and usually they almost always intuitively come to the right answer, it's really wild and what happens is instead of me telling them what to do and building reliance on someone outside of them, if you ask them questions which might take a little bit longer.
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07:34
Ask them questions, allowed them to come up with what is the right answer, and then what happens is they will start to build self-reliance, will start to build this intuitive sense of I know what it is that I need to do, and they won't question themselves as much.
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07:48
You know, one of the things that I think that was lost with a lot of parenting, you know, 10, 20, 30, 40 years ago that they didn't really know, was that they told their children what to do all the time. They told him, they told him they told him, and then what happens we grow up, and then we question ourselves why? Because we were never empowered to make our own decisions, a lot of times.
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08:06
We were told what to do because that's what our parents thought was the right thing and that's their parents thought and that's what their parents thought was the right thing. "I'm older, I know what's right, do what I say" versus if you ask them questions, you allow them to build up this internal trust in themselves.
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08:20
And so if you're out there, and you question yourself a lot, there might be a reason why and the reason might be was because you were told what to do more than actually being asked what to do to build your own internal intuition and self-reliance.
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Rob Dial
10:23
You know, I have friends that send their kids to these things called self-teaching schools, they're pretty wild, they don't even call the teachers, they call them guides and the guides are taught, you know, as guides to almost never answer a child's question, they respond back with another question so that we, they allow the child, and they empower the child to start to actually find their own answers.
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10:48
Children are smart, there's a there's way smarter than we give them credit for. And so what happens is this build self-reliance, they teach them how to build businesses, they teach them how to build you know marketing funnels, they teach them how to build online shops, they teach them how to build the edgy shops, how to, you know, go through research and marketing design all these things.
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11:05
And in these self-teaching schools, I have friends whose kids are 10th and 11th graders that have businesses right now while they're in high school doing $100-200,000 a year. Because what happened was they never really developed this questioning of themselves because they were asked questions and not told what to do, but they decided what was the right action, and then they were empowered to take action on what it is that they decided.
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11:29
And this is, I get it, it's a way different way of thinking about the world, it's a way different way of thinking about life. But imagine what would happen if you didn't tell your children what to do, if you ask them questions once they get to a certain age and just say, hey what do you think is the right choice here?
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11:45
You know, when they're three, four, five years old, ask them, what do you think that you should have done? when they do something bad, when they hit their sister or something like that? Hey, Johnny, do you feel like that was the right thing to do in that moment? No. What do you think was the right thing to do in that moment? Oh, I probably shouldn't have hit her, okay, what should you have done instead and let them come up with the answer and then what happens is they come to the answer of yeah, I made a mistake, I shouldn't have done that versus being like you shouldn't do that, you're gonna be punished, go to time out.
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12:10
And I get it children are crazy, they're freaking nuts, I understand, so sometimes listen you're gonna be triggered that's life, but if you can start to develop this, hey, let me actually let me get real curious about what's going on, let me get real curious, so much. So let me get real curious with the people that I lead, right?
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12:26
What about your family? How can you be a leader and empower those in your family to be the best of themselves? Not just your children, what about your spouse? What about your mother? What about your father? What about your brother? Sister, aunts, uncles, cousins. How can you, how can you be a leader around them and empower those in your family to bring out the best in themselves?
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12:47
What can you do to then be the lighthouse to show them that, you know, you are a path that they could follow if they wanted to, you know, think about that. It's not about going in and saying, "oh, you know aunt Stacy, you're overweight, you should start going to the gym", but really what it's about is going, "hey, I'm gonna be a lighthouse for these people, I'm gonna get in the best shape because I want to get in the best shape".
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13:09
And eventually what's going to happen is that people in your family who do want to get in better shape are going to see you go through your transformation go through your change and go, "hey, what are you doing? Like you look like you're thinner, you look at your skin's glowing more, what is it that you're doing", and you become a lighthouse for those people.
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13:23
Another example would be like, if you, if you know normally you have a short temper, or you stress out a little bit, we'll start to work on yourself, start to meditate, start to become a more empowered version of yourself, that is more calm, that is more peaceful and people start to notice it around you, okay?
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13:38
And then they say, "oh, what are you doing? Like you don't seem, you seem so much better, you seem so much happier". "Oh, I'm meditating, I'm reading more, I'm working on myself", empower those around you to follow suit as well.
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13:47
Not telling them what to do, but to be an example because everybody's doing the best that they can at all times. But how can you empower them to be better? How can you empower your parents, your brothers, your sisters? How can you empower all them? What do they need from you to bring out the best in themselves?
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14:05
Write that down, like if you're, if you have pen and paper, what can I do with my parents, my father? What can I do with my mother and my brother and my sister, my spouse, my children. What does each one of them need for me in order to bring out their best? Because wouldn't you say that's the ultimate form of love, is figuring out what each person needs from you and how you should show up to bring out the best of themselves.
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14:25
Besides just the questions, let's talk about believing in others. Do people in your business or people that you surround yourself with or that you're friends with? Now that you believe in them and that you empower them to work on their own and actually do something great with themselves?
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14:40
Or do you give them an assignment and then make sure that you micromanage, and they have to check in every single day, and they're checking every single day, and they're checking every single hour, and you have to micromanage every single thing that they do. Do you micromanage the people in your business? Do you think that that empowers them?
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14:54
No, it makes somebody feel like they're incapable. Is that what you're trying to grow as people that feel like they're incapable? A bunch of people who feel like they're incapable of their constant being watched all the time? Or you're trying to build a business of people who are self-sufficient, who are empowered to go out and do whatever it is they need to do.
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15:10
What about your children? How much would they say that you believe in them? Do you empower them to make decisions and take actions on their own, or they constantly second guessing themselves, and you're constantly correcting them? That might hurt, I get it, but think about it for a second. Are you constantly correcting your kids? Trying to tell them what they should do, what they shouldn't do, what they should do, what they shouldn't do.
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15:31
Here's one of the things that I've found that a lot of people do, is a lot of people think that it's loving to constantly correct their children because they're thinking, "hey, I'm trying to make my children the best they could possibly be". I have seen that backfire in so many adults that I've coached over the years. Is they can't even make a decision because their parents were constantly micromanaging them.
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15:51
I had a client one time whose, whose father used to, he was, you know, hardcore wanted perfection out of his children, he was in the military and literally to the point where when my client would go and actually put the milk carton away, the dad would open up the fridge and adjust the milk carton so that it was perfect inside of the fridge.
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16:09
And so he grew up thinking that he couldn't do anything right and that permeated other parts of his life, in his relationships and his relationship with his wife and his relationship with his children, his relationship with his business. And so he's in his forties, and now he's trying to work through those things, right?
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16:23
How can you not build children they feel like they have to second guess himself? But how can you build up children that are empowered to make their own decisions and take actions on their own, and not second guessing himself and not being indecisive. You know, you know what a child that's constantly corrected by their parent turns into someone who's not very confident in themselves, and they get older, you got to think about that for a second.
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16:47
What, what do you, what about the other people in your family? You know, your parents, how can you empower them? How can, how can they know that you believe in them, your brothers, your sisters? How can every single person know that you believe in them?
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16:59
Because sometimes people don't believe in themselves enough, and they just need somebody to believe in them. How can you show up as that lighthouse, that person who is just shining bright, telling people how much you believe in them, showing how much you believe in them and empowering them to make the right decisions and saying, "hey, you got this, you don't need me, you got this, you don't need me".
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17:17
It's about bringing out the best in people and inspiring them to grow themselves, not controlling every single move, but inspiring them to actually bring out the best themselves because they've got something special inside of them. How can you help them bring that out?
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17:31
People are way smarter than we give them credit for, children are way smarter than we think that they are and the more credit that we can give them the smarter, the more capable, more confident that they become. And so what I want to do is I want you to think about each person that's in your life, that's important, how can you empower them.
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17:50
How can empower the people in your family, how can empower the people that are you, you know that your children, that is your spouse, how can you empower the people who are, you know, in your business, how can you empower your friends? How can you empower people that you are around all of the time to bring out the best themselves?
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18:06
Because if you're empowering people to bring out the best themselves, it will naturally start to push you to bring out even more of the best in yourself. And so you will grow from pushing others and becoming a leader in that way, but you will also build a circle of people who are empowering themselves and push themselves.
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18:20
You are the person that changes everything around you. Can you step into that leadership position start to show people that you believe in them and empower them to be the best in themselves.
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18:31
So that's what I got for you for today's episode.
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Break
Rob Dial
19:06
And I'm gonna leave the same way I leave you every single episode. "Make it your mission to make someone else's day better". I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.
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