Yeah, that was pretty close, but yeah, I was always kind of in fourth position and the one year that I was really close to making my, my first open national team, I had a little, little crash on 10 m and I think like I did, I lost a little motivation from that and I lost a lot of confidence from that event, it was an open nationals And yeah, everything just got a bit too repetitive for me at that age, you know, I was training like 11 or 12 sessions a week, a lot of hours and I kind of just fell out of love with the sport momentarily, so yeah, it kind of ended there, but I did have high hopes to try and make the olympic team to go for that, it's, it's what all athletes dream of, it's the pinnacle career, but unfortunately for me at that time it just wasn't meant to be, but you know, I don't regret any of the training or any of the work that I put in, I don't regret any of those days, they were amazing and they have shaped me and they formed me into the athlete that I am today, how did you keep returning to compete again and again when you get so close and just be outside the top, you know, what was it that drove you to do that or picked you back up when you fell down?